


To Live Well

by d_aia



Series: Similar, but Not the Same [7]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Child Abuse, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, F/M, M/M, POV Finn, POV Outsider, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rogue One Spoilers, Small Spoiler for Rogue One, Stand Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_aia/pseuds/d_aia
Summary: Finn meets General Organa's son.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the movie (and characters, locations, personal histories etc as are shown in it).
> 
> A/N: The events take place a few years after the Force Awakens.

Finn and Poe left the room in a hurry. They were both bleary-eyed, and half-awake, but they were summoned to an emergency meeting. General Organa wanted them, called for them, she needed them, and so the only question was where the heck they were headed to.

Right, the Command Center.

Normally, Finn wouldn’t be that groggy, but the last few months had been hard. He got three hours of sleep a night, at most, this week. Poe was the same. They were at their limit. In the six years since Finn was part of Resistance, they had periods of rest, and periods of high activity. For example, immediately after Starkiller’s destruction, it was reported that Kylo Ren, General Hux, and Snoke were out of reach and had gone missing. All in all, a blow for the First Order. A bigger one was the first two were declared dead, and the third was virtually unheard of.

But the First Order recovered. A new figurehead emerged, one that was in contact with Snoke. Slowly, but surely, they became more and more active. While the last few months had been insane as they tried to put out all the fires, the last week had been outright terrifying. Finn didn’t like to admit it, but they were starting to slip.

Considering the summons, it might have already happened. 

“Cirrus was attacked,” Organa announced as soon as they entered. “The First Order has another Death Star.”

“It’s actually a variation which allows for less initial power, congregated in a much smaller beam, but targets the core of the planet so it ignites,” Ackbar explained. At a look from Organa, he admitted, “It’s smaller; still a Death Star.”

Cirrus had become an important planet in the Galaxy. Even though it was situated in the Outer Rim, over last five years, Cirrus had slowly become known for building the best weapons, defense equipment, and vehicles—be it used in space, in the air, on land, or in water. Fry Industries was the company’s name, and as a rule it dealt in personal security. Finn had no idea how they got to include an X-wing or a TIE fighter in that, but they readily sold to both sides, and were as such declared neutral. The planet was off limits.

Or it should have been.

“Cirrus is gone then,” Poe said somberly.

It was a shame too. About the time they became known for their weapons, and non-judgmental views who to sell them to, they had drastic change in leadership. Due to its out of the way location, nothing much was known about it, but with this shift in the political power on Cirrus the Republic, and the Resistance, found out very publicly that things had been really dire for a long time. It was things like this that really confused Finn, since _he_ had known the whole time. He’d had to have been blind not to. It used to be in every promotion material the First Order had put up.

Apparently, by the time the Resistance had found out about it, things were already better. There were now programs in place to keep the starving, sick, and homeless fed, clothed, bathed, given medical attention, and a roof over their head in exchange for working in a job suited to their abilities. Of course, no system is perfect. The hours a Cirrusan was expected to work were longer strictly comfortable, but within limits for each employee, as far as the Resistance could tell. And their treatment of the rich was something Organa frowned at: they could leave at any time—with only their credits, as they were compensated for their possessions—or pay exorbitant fees to remain on a neutral planet.

Still.

It held promise. That a planet could raise itself from poverty. That there was a way for the ill, and the poor to survive. That the rich could be negotiated with. That it could be done peacefully.

No more.

“Actually...” Organa began with amazement in her voice. “No. Something stopped it. Here.”

On the main holotable the image shivered a little before it showed a red light heading straight for the planet. The glare stopped—close enough to the planet to make Finn swallow dryly—hovered for a second, and then... the origin point of the light exploded. The Starkiller was destroyed. Something had made it blow up. As if that wasn’t enough, the last of the destructive power that the Starkiller had transmitted broke off in millions, maybe billions of rays that were splayed to pass by Cirrus harmlessly. 

“That was _way_ too easy,” Poe quipped from Finn’s right, eyes squinted in suspicion. “And there’s no way to find out what happened on the surface?” He grinned suddenly. “They really did it, didn’t they? They got out alive.”

Murmur of assent rose at Poe’s final remark.

“This young generation simply doesn’t appreciate the destructive force of the Death Star,” Statura mumbled.

Poe raised a brow, but it was Organa who answered Statura, “I don’t think you’re supposed to be on the Death Star’s side.”

“I know, but it’s getting ridiculous!” Statura said. “Our loss is always immense, but so is theirs. And it gets destroyed quicker, and quicker. They’re bound to stop it with the planet destroyers, once and for all. If Cirrus developed some sort of shield or something the like, then we can—”

“Not a shield, sir,” Iita said meekly. “A man.”

“A man?” Ackbar sounded dubious.

“Yes, sir. One that controls the Force,” Iita answered.

Skywalker took a step forward drawing everybody’s attention. He said in an even tone, “The _Force_ doesn’t work that way.”

Finn wasn’t a fan of this version, just like he wasn’t of Solo’s.

Apparently Iita agreed. “Maybe _your_ Force doesn’t, but this man’s clearly does.” She sent something to the main screen. “Sir,” she added, and ducked Oragana’s reprimanding look.

Iita’s anger wasn’t fair, but it was understandable. The Resistance had looked to Luke Skywalker as the ultimate savior, and while he was helpful, it didn’t turn up to be that way. He wasn’t the be-all, end-all. When the First Order had recovered, and Skywalker hadn’t had a magical solution to everything, people had started to grow cold towards him. They had felt and still feel that he wasn’t pulling his weight. And that feeling only grew when he wouldn’t allow Rey, everybody’s sweetheart, on her own.

People were desperate and they wanted a solution, and Finn got that, he really did, but it didn’t make Finn’s increasingly frequent encounters with the Force any more appealing.

“That’s Kylo Ren!” Rey shouted.

And Finn’s attention was immediately on the image displayed on the holotable. But he didn’t see Kylo Ren. He saw...

“That’s General Hux.”

“Red hair is usual for Cirrus,” Ackbar dismissed.

“ _That_ is General Hux,” Finn insisted.

Ackbar looked worried, so Finn was satisfied that he was believed.

“He’s not dead,” Organa whispered. “My... He’s not dead.”

Nobody had anything to add. Finn took a step towards Poe, both disturbed by the events that had unfurled and their consequences. Everyone watched the footage, silent and somber.

The holovid was taken from a high point, though no more than a level or two, looking down towards a dock. Like almost all of Cirrus, the buildings were largely built into the mountains, leaving only white gleaming bits, like fangs, hanging out precariously over the golden sea. Or was it an ocean? It was impossible to say. All they could see was that it continued past the right border of the image. There was a dock—the central piece of the footage—that was built around a naturally occurring rock ledge, colored blue like the sand, the water almost touching it gently. Overlooking the short dock, to the left of the image, there was a building with the spiky font announcing proudly that it was part of Fry Industries Consortium.

The dock was the important one because that was where Hux and Ren were. It was wide enough to accommodate several screens, keyports, and a large holopad tucked into a corner where the rocky surface served as a wall. Hux was working diligently at it, used probably to the sheer amount of information that seemed to pour out it from his days in the First Order. He even swayed lightly to the tempo of incoming waves, and, if the occasional chuckle was to be believed, he was listening to the conversation taking place a few steps away.

Hux was with his back mostly to the sea, and not two steps behind him and to the right stood a hulking droid. They were an old Empire security droid, who seemed to have the Fry Industries shield proudly displayed on his back in white and gold. They had both hands on their hips and were arguing loudly with Ren, who was a practical demonstration in perfect laziness. He was on the edge of the dock, with his feet in the water, and his hands outstretched. Apparently, he was trying his best to become one with the rock, and, in that quest, he looked to be succeeding. His every exhale was full of relaxed contentment.

Ren’s mouth, however, was apparently living under different rules.

“The paint’s chipped,” he was saying. Possibly while being asleep.

“The paint’s chipped,” the droid said incredulously.

Ren barely lifted a shoulder. “It was bugging me.”

The droid threw up his hands. “It was bug—”

They didn’t get to finish the sentence, because a wide-mouthed fish suddenly lifted from the water a gaped at him. As they were rearing back in surprise, it slapped them on the shoulder, and went back into the water. The droid was left spluttering.

“Yes, it was bugging me,” Ren said with in a smug tone.

“You were supposed to slap him with a dead fish,” Hux replied wryly.

“It was a wet fish,” Ren said idly. “Why kill it?”

The droid shook his head sadly. “You shouldn’t kill the fish. Any fish. And you shouldn’t use them as props. _And_ you should continue telling me about the defects in the new X-Wings.” When Ren opened his mouth, the droid continued quickly. “I already noted the chipped paint.”

Ren _pouted._ “Fine.” He was silently for a bit. “The fuel chamber. Right bolt.”

“Again?” Hux asked, as he stopped working.

Ren again did that barely perceptible shoulder shrug.

“Is someone intentionally sabotaging them?” Hux asked. When it appeared that no answer was forthcoming, he insisted. “Can you look?”

“We’re covered, right? It’s in the employment contracts?” Ren asked idly, giving the impression that he wouldn’t care one way or the other.

“Of course,” Hux answered, and went back to his work.

There was silence for a few moments.

“Just tired,” Ren announced finally. “I’m going to cut back on the hours. We can afford it.”

Hux made a confirming sound, but other than he ignored Ren.

“Not exactly Leia Organa and Han Solo, are they?” The woman taking the video asked, but Finn heard fondness in her voice. “Our most important couple—boring in their old age. Where’s the adventure?”

“Who needs adventure?” Another woman spoke. “I’d rather have Armie and Ben any day.”

The names raised a lot of eyebrows in the Command Center, a startled indrawn breath from Skywalker, and a shocked gasp from Organa.

“Anything else?” the droid was asking on the holovid.

“Mmm, yes, check the p—”

In a blink Ren was up, and frowning in the distance. “Armie! Get off the planet. Now! Take Four.”

Finn blinked, surprised by the suddenness of the shift. It took him a moment to remember why they were the footage. This must’ve been the moment the Cirrusans discovered they were under attack. Well, one did, the rest would know soon enough.

In the holovid, Hux jumped from his seat, pushed a couple of buttons making a quick little shuttle appear in front of the building, but hesitated. He was waiting for somebody, for Ren presumably. But then Ren shook his head, pecked his lips and pushed Hux towards the aircraft. The droid got the message, and started to drag Hux away.

“Now!” Ren yelled.

And Hux went.

“That Bantha shit!” Organa cried.

Casting the previous peaceful landscape in shades of red, the beam became visible.

The women making the vid could be heard taken in twin startled breaths.

Ren took a deep breath, and raised a hand.

“Fool,” Skywalker murmured, but his voice held no accusation, only sadness.

And Skywalker was right. As soon as his hand was level, Ren pushed. Finn could tell by the way the water was suddenly held off from the shore as if a barrier had been enacted. But it wasn’t enough. It was probably to big too move, because almost immediately the crunching sound of broken bones was heard, and Ren faltered.

But he didn’t fall.

And the red beam didn’t get any closer. Still. It was only so much Ren could take, and the beam could afford to wait. Ren couldn’t. So he tried to move his hand, but it must have kriffing hurt, because, though he didn’t make a sound, he bit his lip savagely. A trickle of blood ran down his chin unnoticed.

Finally, Ren lifted his other arm, and with it he punched the barrier created by his hand. It was a short, violent blow. His fingers splayed afterwards, and the beam, now that it had overloaded the Death Star followed his fingers to flare harmlessly in the universe.

“That’s impossible,” Skywalker whispered.

Ren swayed, and fell.

And that would have been the end of it. In a world where one could just stop the ocean without consequences. But it wasn’t that world.

The ocean swelled into one big wave. It was almost as high as the women taking the holovid. Ren saw it too, but there wasn’t anything he could do. Finn was certain that Ren’s legs were broken, so there went to most obvious way to get away. But Ren didn’t give up. He started crawling backwards, trying to gather enough concentration to use the Force again, but he must not have been nearly confident enough that he could still stop it. Whether it was that, or he was simply too tired, his grip on the Force wavered.

After all, there are only so many impossible things that one could do in the span of ten minutes.

Ren didn’t make it. As the wave descended, the water covered him, and they couldn’t see Ren anymore. Over the Command Center a tense silence settled. Finn’s eyes flickered to Organa, as did everybody’s, while they waited nervously for the golden water to retreat.

But when it did, a bubble appeared.

What the... It was a shield… of some sort. Yes, it was a barrier. And as the water slowly retreated Hux was seen giving first aid to Ren. Hux must’ve returned. It was the only plausible explanation, no matter how impossible it sounded. But when Finn heard the relived sighs of the two women who made the video, he had the feeling there were important parts of this story he simply didn’t know. They weren’t amazed, they weren’t startled, and neither were they incapable of recognizing the magnitude of what had happened—they were simply glad they Ren and Hux had made it, but they weren’t shocked that they did.

“Medics!” Hux screamed, and Finn could hear one of the women comm-ing for help.

As soon as the water retreated once again, a team of doctors were next to shield, ready to take Ren.

“I want him put in bacta tanks,” Hux said raggedly. “I don’t care if he destroys them, put him in new ones until he’s healed. We have the money. He saved all our lives.”

The medics nodded quickly, and hurried along.

“Do you think it occurs to him that as our Marshal he can just order it, and no one would say anything?” the woman taking the video asked shakily.

The other woman had moved closer by the sound of her voice, and answered her with restrained happiness, “At least he found the shield. I thought that was it for Ben.”

But in the Command Center another thing got their attention.

“What is the ruler of Cirrus called again?” Ackbar asked with his eyes firmly forward, expression pained as if he had just stepped in something nasty and didn’t have the courage to look down.

Strata swallowed discreetly. “I believe they are called ‘Marshal.’“ 

Poe slapped his forehead.

*

Naturally, the best thing for them to do wasn’t to go to the planet ruled by somebody who wanted them dead. But logic didn’t always apply to inner workings of the Resistance, and Organa seemed decided to go with or without them. After that, it was a done thing. Finn didn’t even _try_ to change anybody’s mind, and limited his exasperation to a sigh.

Organa, Skywalker, Rey, Chewie, BB-8, Poe and Finn were going to Cirrus.

*

On their way to the dock, coming from the water—one of the planet’s six oceans—in their rented an open-air hydroshuttle, they got stopped by the local law enforcement. They had almost made it too. Finn could see the dock from their position. Or rather he saw _a_ dock, a tall droid on it, and a dark-haired man huddled at its feet, so he recognized that dock as their final destination.

“What is it that you need?” Organa asked pleasantly.

“To give you a warning.” The tall, redhead officer was the same woman who took the video. Their voices were the same. This could answer the question of whether the video had been taken with Hux’s knowledge or not.

“What sort of warning would that be?” Organa questioned courteously.

“Upset Ben and we’ll have problems,” the officer answered promptly, and cheerfully. “Is that understood?”

“Quite.” Oragana’s smile turned empty. “Do you know who you’re protecting?”

“Somebody who saved my planet, the citizens I protect, me, and my gasa,” the woman answered promptly. Gasa, as far as Finn understood, was a word for the entirety of people a Cirrusan cared about. “I don’t care what you know or think about him. He and his husband, the Marshal, have done good things for Cirrus.”

There was nothing left to say, so Organa gave a diplomatic nod.

“Perfect. That’s all.” She stepped to the side. “Have a good day!”

“Hux knew,” Poe mumbled to Finn. “Kriff, Hux knows.”

Finn could only nod.

The last few minutes were spent in silence.

“Is ‘welcome’ a good greeting?” Ren asked without opening his eyes.

Ren was cuddled into one of the droids legs, and didn’t appear to be moving. The droid seemed perfectly okay with it, even going so far as to pet Ren’s tousled curls from time to time. They didn’t back down to make way for them to dock, so they remained on the shuttle. 

“Is it truthful?” Poe asked, bravado coming to the fore.

Ren lazily opened one eye. “Awful.” He then gestured to the droid. “This is Four. K-4SJ. Four, this is Chewie, who raised me, General Organa, my mother, Luke Skywalker, my uncle, Rey, who I suspect is my cousin, Finn, one of Armie’s Stormtroopers and a traitor like us, BB-8, and Poe, who I tortured once.” He opened both eyes, and gazed thoughtfully at Poe. “I’ve got to say, I expected the wounds to be closed.”

Poe bristled next to Finn.

“Not willing to let anyone else into your head?” Ren questioned with an amused air. “I can understand that.” He closed his eyes again, only to snap them open a second later. “Wait. Nobody offered.”

Rey didn’t look like she knew what Ren was talking about, and neither did Organa, but Skywalker did a weird fidget-like movement and that’s what drew Ren’s attention.

Shaking his head once, Ren asked, “Would you like me to soothe your mind?”

Poe took a step back, looking exhausted and frightened all of a sudden. Finn knew Poe had gotten better, but it still bothered him. However. No matter how bad the nightmares and the flashes of memory got, Finn was certain that Poe would never ask.

Finn, for his part, directed his glare toward Skywalker. Ren had tortured Poe, and as awful as it was, it was also expected behavior for an enemy.  But Skywalker had been on their side, and he had done nothing.

Suddenly, Poe wobbled.

Finn reached out to support him. While it was true that the water swayed, the shuttle was pretty stable, so it couldn’t have been it. That only left...

Skywalker, and Rey, took a step forward.

“I’m okay,” Poe gasped. “Dizzy, but better.” He glared at Ren. “I’m not going to say ‘thank you.’“

Ren just shrugged, and closed his eyes with a sigh.

“You know,” Ren mumbled absently while Finn was still playing catch up, “the most important things in our life happen because of stupid stuff.”

That had the effect of confusing everybody.

“I’m afraid the bacta is speaking,” the droid announced with a pat on Ren’s head. “Or rather its’ after effects.”

“Ah,” Skywalker said shortly.

But Organa had noticed an opening, and jumped at the chance to know more about her son. So nobody was surprised when she asked, “What sort of stupid things?”

Ren waved his hand vaguely, and shrugged.

Organa hesitated. “Are you referring to you?”

Ren didn’t answer.

“Is this what happened to you?” Organa tried again.

With a mighty sigh, Ren decided to speak. “It began when I was little. I listened to something I shouldn’t have. But well, you two were loud whenever you got into one of your arguments.”

Skywalker glanced quickly towards his sister, and no one said anything for a long time.

“You shouted that if he went that meant he didn’t love me,” Ren said quietly, obviously referring to his mother and father. He slowly lifted a shoulder. “He said that you didn’t either or else I could have stayed with you.” He fell silent once again. “You didn’t contradict him; said that the Senate is more important than any one person.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “See? Stupid. But I was a child. What did I know?”

Rey snorted like she agreed with Ren’s assessment of his own intelligence, and Finn got where that came from, but he didn’t feel the same. Not about this. Everybody there had had difficult childhoods, Rey one of the most wretched ones, and Finn understood that, though he couldn’t imagine it. He knew that she kept up hope, a notion of family even when she had none, and somehow kept her gentleness to both helpless strangers and her friends. She could always be counted on to do the right thing.

But Finn wasn’t. He lied, stole, used people, and killed people. Organa, herself, didn’t acknowledge any relationship with her birth father, and his final acts of redemption were not-existent at best, not enough at worst. Poe told Finn a lot that everybody reacted differently, and that it was not a competition so Finn should stop comparing himself to Rey. How then could Finn begrudge Ren his own troubles with his parents? Especially since Ren seemed to just try to prove a point.

“Stupid, maybe, but it was at a time when I was wondering if it was me. If I was the reason my parents were never around. At point, I knew Chewie better than either of them.” Ren opened his eyes, and fixed Chewie with a look. “I’m sorry I killed your friend.”

Chewie didn’t say anything, so after a pause, Ren continued, “That night I felt it for the first time. A... detachment. An inability to _feel_ anything. To experience reality. White noise. Even when I had rage fits, I felt distanced somehow. Like it wasn’t real. Later, I would call the episodes the draw of light side. I felt it fit the description.”

Skywalker jumped, startled. “I _encouraged_ attachment.”

Ren smiled bitterly. “You _said_ you did. But you took us from our families.”

“You couldn’t be trusted around your families,” Skywalker explained. His tone was pleading. “You were all dangerous, you especially. You were so angry, all the time, and...” He sighed. “You had all the other Padawans.”

Ren turned his head to stare at Finn. It felt like Ren was staring through Finn, seeing all his secrets. The fact that it was probably true didn’t comfort Finn any. But Ren was right about something.

“There’s always somebody who doesn’t fit in,” Finn said quietly.

Skywalker turned toward Finn, surprised, but Poe squeezed his wrist, and that reminded Finn that he found somewhere he belonged.

“I hated that place. It’s not anything that anyone did, it just... felt cold, hopeless, numbing.” Ren shrugged slowly. He had no more words.

“But you _were_ angry all the time,” Organa insisted. “And I could feel Snoke around you.”

Ren closed his eyes. He sighed, as if he needed a break, any sort of pause. “I didn’t... feel the anger. I was just out of control... Which I realize it was no small thing, but to me it didn’t offer a solution.” He stopped. Waited for a bit. Then continued, “Yes, I heard Snoke in my head. And yes, he was saying that nobody loved me. It took me years to realize that he was using my episodes against me. At the time, it felt like the truth.”

“You called me,” Organa spoke up. “Towards the end, you called me.”

A shadow of a smile appeared on Ren’s face. “I asked if you ever felt love.”

“And I answered,” Organa said, voice trembling, “‘of course I do. I love you.’”

“Which I took it as a ‘no.’” Ren’s lips curved into a bitter smile. “But I didn’t want to live without emotions... and the dark side, it seemed to be everything I wanted. Somewhere I could achieve power and mastery by _feeling_ too much _._ I did everything Snoke asked.”

“The Padawans,” Skywalker said emptily.

“Sometimes he was more present than others,” Ren said somberly.

Organa took a deep breath. “So that wasn’t you?”

Nothing happened for long minutes.

Finally, Ren slowly shook his head. “No.” He added, “But don’t get your hopes up. It’s not that simple.” When Organa opened her mouth, looking like she was going to ignore everything he had ever said, including that bit about hope, Ren once again shook his head. “I’ve killed people. Me. At first, he was in my head all the time, but then he let off, and my behavior was the same. _I_ was the one to torture Poe. I, _alone_ , decided to kill my father. _I did it_.”

Organa faltered.

“You might be able to convince people that it wasn’t me, that I was brainwashed.” Ren’s tone was exasperated. “But it wouldn’t be true. Somewhere along the way, it became me. Doing things with what I understood as being the dark side of the Force was easier. Once I believed that, once I was convinced that it was the most direct route to get to wherever I needed to be, your son had died. I walk these paths that you never would have. That your son would never even dream of following. It was then I realized that people can be more than one thing at once,” he offered. “And I was... so tired. It all became irrelevant. The only thing that mattered was making the numbness go away. Resist the light.”

Rey clenched her jaw, glaring at Ren with all she had.

“That’s not the light, you know,” Ren said to Rey. “And the dark is not torturing and killing. The light draws its’ control from objectivity. The dark from subjectivity. What people do with it afterwards is up to them. You access more easily the dark side. I saw you on Starkiller; I know. That doesn’t make you evil. It just means you draw power from what you experience.” He turned his stare on Skywalker. “It’s that simple.”

As Ren dragged his eyes away from Skywalker, he let his gaze rest on Finn for one moment, and Finn was immediately reminded of that night on Jakku so many years ago. The incidents in which Finn used the Force had been getting more and more frequent, and Finn was going to come clean to Skywalker and Organa soon, because Finn had told Poe and it wasn’t fair to Poe to keep it a secret from his commanding officer whom he respected for too long. But somehow, while Skywalker has been in Finn’s presence for long periods of time over the years and was still clueless as far as Finn would tell, Ren had known before even Finn had realized. What was more, Ren never said anything, and this time was no different.

Ren sighed once more and cuddled closer to the droid.

“Why are you telling us all this?” Organa asked quietly.

“To understand,” Ren answered just as quietly. “Make it possible to not happen again. After all, that’s what I’m doing here.”

Poe scratched at his stubble. “What exactly are you doing here? With Hux, I mean.”

Shrugging listlessly, Ren spoke slowly. “There was once a boy. Another boy. And he had a bad childhood, too. But he didn’t blame himself, he didn’t blame a mother that he never knew, he didn’t blame his bantha shit of a father, he blamed the imperfect system. The system his father always blamed the abuse he heaped on his son because the boy needed to be strong. You see, the boy believed his father, because when he grew up, everywhere he turned he could see poor people. People that were starving, forgotten, and dying.”

Hux. Finn swallowed. It should have occurred to him that everybody had a story, and, better or poorer, everybody had their own reasons for acting as they did. Apparently, the First Order propaganda wasn’t a lie for all the officers. Finn was aware that the falsehoods were many, but he also knew that some of it was true. He just never thought it might be what motivated General Hux.

“The New Republic is responsible for making its own demons. It had help, but in the end, the circumstances weren’t all that different than Leia Organa and the Empire,” Ren said, and the shadow of a grin appeared on his face. “Somewhere out there our demons—Hux’s, the First Order’s, mine... are taking shape right now.”

Poe blinked quickly. “And you’re okay with that?”

“We killed billions of people.” Ren chuckled. “We expect it.”

Organa was... very upset. Finn didn’t know her that well to be more specific. Her expression darkened further as she bit out, “And where is Hux?”

Ren looked at them, for the first time animated by something. His dark eyes were twinkling mischievously when he asked, “Did you know that Armie is a very capable sniper?”

Suddenly, Finn felt very exposed.

“He’s being dramatic,” Hux voice rang out. He was walking onto the dock lugging a huge rifle, a bit taller than him, _and_ half as thick at both ends. The expression on his face was foreign, too amiable, and his hair was longer—oddly enough, it was floating gently around his face giving Hux an unnatural appearance—but that was Hux alright.

“Armie,” Ren sighed happily. He tangled both their legs, and seemingly fell asleep.

“Would you leave my hair alone?” Hux asked nonsensically, narrowing his eyes at a strand.

Well, nonsensically until they saw Ren’s smirk.

“Drama nuarma,” Hux quipped as he bent over to peck Ren on the forehead, and just like that Hux’s hair listened to the gravity once again.

It was actually an interesting application of the Force. Finn wondered if he could make it happen too. Poe would look good with his curls even more springy, and it was a fun way to tell him Finn would like a kiss. 

“Hux,” Organa accused.

“Iubhar. My mother’s name,” Hux said, and smiled pleasantly. “Actually, we’re both called that.” He was obviously proud. Whether it was because his own change, or because of Ren’s choice, Finn didn’t know, but he was willing to bet it was both.  

Hux also didn’t seem worried, even by the phenomenal General Organa, his mother in law, or the legendary Skywalker, and certainly not by their handpicked team. Even seeing his side capability, Finn had to admit that looking at things from Hux’s perspective he found few reasons for concern. They were on his turf, and he had his people around him but that meant that Hux had Organa’s team in a place where when they shined. However, not so usual was the security droid, Hux’s rifle, his probable proficiency with it, and the Death Star’s Killer. Also, Finn would add, the fact that Oragana’s team was formed out of decent people who wouldn’t attack first.

Still, Hux was confident enough to limit his range of movement for the sake of affection, and this was something Finn didn’t know what to do about.

“Why?” Organa asked, stung.

“He needed a new name.” Hux smirked. “And he’s my husband, so, obviously, I offered him mine. He accepted.”

“You are _so_ generous,” Organa said incredulously.

“I am,” Hux answered shortly. Organa had clearly succeeded in getting on his nerves. “For him, I am. He wanted to live in peace, for as long as possible. We came here. He realized he wants to live productively too. And he got a job, helping people by doing what he did best. Just because I have big plans for this planet, it’s not a good enough reason to think that I’m neglecting him.”

Organa took a deep breath, and Poe took advantage of the lull in aggression to say diplomatically, “We didn’t come for that. We... need help.”

Hux shifted his gaze to Poe. “What with?”

“We need Snoke’s location,” Poe began steadily. There was no tremble in his voice, no edge, and he didn’t flinch as he met Hux’s eyes. Finn was in awe, and _so_ proud of him. “We thought Re—Ben uh...”—Poe’s eyes widened as he stumbled on Ren’s appropriate name—“ _Iubhar_ might know where he was.”

“He does. So do I. I don’t see how that would help you,” Hux said plainly.

Finn sensed Hux was telling the truth, but it didn’t make sense.

“Why?” Rey asked, confused and, Finn knew from experience, annoyed by it.

“He’s around you,” Hux said.

When they didn’t react, Hux explained, “Ben skewered him, then he cut him, then I burned him, and we scattered the ashes into the oceans.” He visibly swallowed a laugh. “We were thorough.”

Organa shook her head. “Then who’s General Howell talking to?”

“Not-Snoke,” Hux offered with a shrug.

“Can you help us take the General out?” Poe asked hesitantly.

Immediately, Skywalker rounded on him, “Poe.”

Finn took a step forward so he could be between them. “We lost enough friends.”

“Well?” Rey asked Hux, ignoring Skywalker’s hurt look.

“We could,” Hux said, smug smirk on his face. “However, I find us fresh out of favors.”

“How much would it cost us?” Organa asked, tone pleasant enough, though her knuckles were white on the handle of the shuttle. “How much of our souls would it take satisfy you?”

Hux rolled his eyes. “At least Ben came by his drama honestly. While I would have guessed it came from his father, but...” Organa twitched, and Hux smiled benevolently. “I don’t care what you say about me, but you won’t vote for any of the planets I lead to be reintroduced into your Republic. They tried it, and it didn’t work. I don’t care what you say, but things would be a lot easier for me if I have that vote.”

“Planets?” Organa asked.

“I’m thinking of expanding,” Hux offered, smirking.

When it became apparent that Organa wouldn’t approve, Finn interrupted. “Would my vote work?”

Hux frowned for a second, before his face cleared. “You’re a Prince.” He thought about it for a second. “Yes, it most definitely would.”

Organa turned to Finn, and said, “You don’t need to—”

“He knows,” Hux spoke over her.

Organa was not sold, and wouldn’t let anyone convince her otherwise, but it was also not her call.

“Deal,” Finn said decisively.

“Deal,” Hux answered. “What do we have?” He untangled his legs smoothly, and went to the screens.

Poe hesitated, but, after a deep breath, he stepped on the dock after him. He didn’t look at Ren, which meant he stumbled, tripping on Ren’s long legs, so Finn was there to support his weight. BB-8 wobbled a bit, bopping his distress, and Ren shifted clearing the way. Rey followed them, having their backs, hand on her lightsaber.

But Organa and Skywalker, stayed behind. They obviously didn’t approve. Organa had come only for her son. She found him at peace with himself and the world, so there was nothing more she could do for him, especially since they seemed to have developed conflicting values.

Chewie, to Finn surprise, gave a wail, and moved to on the dock. He changed his weight from foot to foot, like he was making up his mind. Ren opened his eyes, and looked upwards at him, gaze uncertain. Chewie growled, gave two short wails, and sat down. However, he didn’t touch Ren. Chewie didn’t even look at Ren, but when Ren moved—startling Finn because, kriff, Ren could be fast when he wanted to—and snuggled close to Chewie, he just whined and patted his head.

Ren closed his eyes again, a content smile on his face.

Finn turned around, swallowing his own small smile, to watch as Hux’s fingers flew over the input port. Immediately, he found the General’s public profile, his private First Order file, and a vid of a speech he was holding. And he didn’t stop there; he had documents, pictures, schematics, almost everything that the Resistance itself had acquired. Actually...

“Is that our information?” Finn asked incredulously.

Hux smirked, and didn’t say anything.

“Nerf herder,” Poe mumbled.

Cheerfully ignoring Poe, Hux observed, “Howell’s just a man. Single. No dependents. Crafty. Powerful. Ambitious. But just a man.”

Poe snorted. “And you are?”

“Oh, I’m a man too. So’s Ben, with all his bells and whistles,” Hux said, eyes flickering towards Ren. “But I’ve met other creatures. Dark, corrupt creatures that even the sun’s light hides from. Those are harder to kill.” He smirked. “Though not impossible.”

“It’s good to have perspective,” Poe quipped in the ensuing silence. “Is that live?”

Hux shifted his attention to the vid Poe pointed at for less than a second. “Yes.” He typed something. “He should be there for a while longer, but we don’t have enough time to reach him. I, however, have his schedule.” Hux selected a section, making it glow softly. “That’s the time and place for his next one. We have two days. After that, chances are that they’ll catch on to me being in their systems.”

“Short window,” Finn commented.

“Well...” Hux tempered. “It is if you don’t want Ben to pull off a miracle, and then offer impossible explanations like, ‘oh, it displaced the air, and I just gathered it and turned it back.’” He seemed fondly exasperated. “I miss the times when he just said in this low, mysterious voice: the _Force_.”

Suddenly, on the holoscreen the Gener—the man, actually, because Hux had a point—stopped talking. Hux frowed. Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned toward Ren. Poe, Rey, Finn, even BB-8, followed his example.

Ren was holding up a closed fist.

“Oh for kriff’s sake,” Hux cursed, rolling his eyes.

But Hux had trouble containing his awed grin, and Finn shuddered, as the possible implications occurred to him. He saw Ren struggling to open his fist, and Finn turned towards the screen to test his theory. Poe was still looking at Ren, confusion written plainly on his face, so Finn made sure to grab his attention, and point towards the screen. Because, while the man had been responsible for a lot of deaths, Poe’s good friends were Kare and Iolo were among them, and that meant this moment had personal significance.

Ren opened his fist, and the man exploded. Poe took a startled breath. It was over.

“That’s impossible!” Skywalker exclaimed.

“For all that is precious,” Hux said as he sauntered towards Ren. “Do _not_ ask him how he did it.” He bent over, and smiling, he kissed Ren.

Finn shook his head, and tried to go with it. Bringing an arm around Poe’s waist he asked hopefully, “Does that mean we get to sleep now?”

Ren made an approving sound at that, and turned to Hux with wide, questioning eyes.

In the end, they were all just people.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want to comment (or just talk to me) you can do it here or on my [tumblr](http://e-alexandrescu.tumblr.com/).


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